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If you’ve been on social media in the last week there are a million memes about the parents that have to stay home with their kids for weeks because of COVID-19. The struggle is real. It is definitely an adjustment to be cooped up with the kids for weeks on end. However, there’s another issue that people aren’t talking about. Let’s address the elephant in the room: How to survive your husband when you are both home from work.
It’s pretty typical that husbands get a bad rep. We all know the jokes out there about how bad a “man cold” is. In all seriousness, being home with your husband or significant other for weeks on end might prove to be a bit challenging. You might be really excited at first to have so much time together but after a while, you’ll be wishing he was back at work. Follow a few tips to ensure that when this is all over, everyone still likes each other and that you make the most of your time together.
Take Time To Yourself
Even if you aren’t leaving the house, everyone does not have to be on top of each other all of the time. Take time to go sit on the front porch and read a book alone, take a bath, go for a drive. Anything that allows you to be alone in your thoughts.
I don’t get to see my husband nearly enough and I am grateful for time with him. I also, don’t nearly have enough time for myself either. There’s always a kid or a dog that needs something and on the rare occasion that you have the opportunity to steal some alone time, don’t pass it up.
Take advantage of your husband being home and have him do something fun with the kids so that you can enjoy some quiet time. I know that I am either taking care of the kids or hanging out with my husband when I am not at work. It’s important to put yourself first at times.
Allow Him Some Alone Time As Well
Just as you need to have some time to yourself, give him space as well. Allow him to go work in the garage, guilt free, or putz around the backyard. Whatever it is that your significant other is into, give him time to do just that.
My husband works so hard for our family. He works two jobs and then when he gets home, he sees that I am exhausted and jumps right in to help out around the house. I can only imagine how exhausted he is as well.
He never complains, but he also never really gets time off either. Encourage your spouse to recharge and take an hour or two to themselves. You’ll both be happier for it.
Communicate What You Each Want Out of the Day
I know for my husband and myself, on the rare occasion that we are home together for extended periods of time, we face issues when we are on different pages of what we expect to get out of the day.
Sometimes I will wake up thinking we are going to tackle the basement and get things organized. In my mind, I’ve planned the whole day out, I have processed what it will look like and the end result. The problem arises, when my husband has a different idea. Perhaps, he is thinking that he will tackle the backyard or that it will be a relaxation day.
I’ll get frustrated if he’s out working on the yard when I am trying to get organized in the house, thinking that he isn’t being helpful. On the same token, if I want to relax but he’s all ready to get things done, there’s some tension.
Neither person is right, it just comes down to communicating what we each want to get done, or not get done in the day. That way we are on the same page and we know where the other person is motivated. Set the tone and the intent for the day with each other; set the expectations up front.
Since being home, I have started a daily intentional journal which has helped to set an intention for my day. Grab yours for free below.
Take Time To Connect
What a rare privilege to have such an extended amount of time together. Take the time to do something together. It can be anything. Find a show to binge watch together. I know when my husband and I have a show that we watch together, it’s like a date night when we watch it. We wait for the kids to go to bed, we get ourselves a drink and snuggle up on the couch.
Find a book to read together. Have you ever done a book club with your spouse? What a great way to spend some quality time together. Another thing that really brings my husband and I together is to work on home projects. We are in the process of fixing up our dream house. It’s been so much fun to dream together of what we want for this house, but then to make all the little ideas come together one project at a time.
Try To Stay Positive
Our family is in uncharted territory as we have found all five of us home from school and work for the long haul. It is a bit exciting to have time together but the gravity of what’s happening is pretty scary.
We are doing our best to adjust to our new normal. It is important to be flexible in order to survive your husband when you are both home from work. I am only partly kidding when I say that. We are all in a weird space right now and in uncharted territory. I wish everyone the best right now and hope that you are remaining positive and able to find bits of humor in your day.